Saturday, 28 May 2016

Why I did'nt write for 3 years

I understood I miss writing so much only after I started writing. My life took a typical turn, well-educated and settled (as society expects) I took the next acceptable step. To be married of course. I have been a rebel all my life, so I did marry the guy after grilling him with all my conditions. The poor soul he was, that he happily accepted it all. And there it was, I married, with a condition that I will never change myself. 

But let me tell you, All hell broke loose a couple of months ago when I realised that I did change, not that someone asked me to. But incidents, situations, people do make you change. Could be negative or positive. As if we are iterating ourselves to be a better person. One of the worst thing about my change is I did not realise that I have changed. 

First among my friends who had tied the knot, doe-eyed about the world, I enjoyed the marital bliss so much, that missed calls from friends was sometimes really ignored. Catering guests at homes stopped me from being a shoulder to my friend who had to leave her education half way; even Whatsapp was a chore and all I wanted to do was spend my time with my husband. Juggling between what I want to do and what I should do, tore apart the person who I really was and unfortunately for all my friends I really changed. And I did not know about it.

But was it right on my part to unknowingly not being there for the people who were there through my roller coaster life and giving it all to one person? Seriously I did not even think about all this. But Universe has its way to make us realise our stupidity. 

My friend got married. Not that I was buzzing her 24*7, but she had an arranged marriage, (I am crazily scared about it) so I kept on texting to check on her well-being. She did not reply, all the blue ticks on whatsapp proved she read those and ignored. Initially, I thought she might be busy, but then she was the one who had a record on checking whatsapp every 15 seconds. That led me to scroll back to all my group chats and friends message, which said the ugly truth. I did the same. We get engrossed so much on being "Mrs" and newness in life that and not taking them along with us, we just leave them in past and move on. And one day when the New life smacks, we realise we don't have a past shoulder to cry on. 

The reason I wrote about this is, Girls please don't lose yourselves. Continue doing what you loved. Continue your hobbies, I know one stops you. But please continue developing your SELF! You might have a loving husband, but sometimes you also need your friends to make you sane. To de-clutter you. To heal you. TO Love you. The new life does bring pressure and stress and "Mere pass time hi nai hai" situations, but sailing across it and still finding time for your old pals is what Life is all about. Merging your past life and present love gets us to the beautiful future.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting, true observations... This could be the case for many males as well...